*theme music*
Tim: I love this movie!
Tim: I'm Tim Heidecker and you're watching On Cinema At The Cinema.
Tim: Quiet on set!
Tim: It's On Cinema At The Cinema with me, your host Tim Heidecker.
Tm: Hi everybody, welcome to On Cinema At The Cinema Season premiere of season three. My name is Tim Heidecker and it is a review sho- a movie where we- where we remo- we review movies for, tell you which movies we wanna reccomend and see. My guest today is Gregg Turgington.
Gregg: Hey guys, good to be here and of course, I've brought lots of expertise with me this season.
Tim: And I'm celebrating the, we are in the summer and this is the whole season of summer movies is with us so I'm wearing my summer shirt.
Gregg: Very cool shirt.
Tim: Very sort of Hawaiian in style and I thought that would be fun to wear the shirt.
Tim: And so our movies today are Lone Ranger.
Gregg: Mm.
Tim: Lone Ranger directed by Gore Verbinsky and actors of Johnny Depp, Helena Buck- Bonham Carter and somebody called Armie Harmer. Armie Hammer. And this is a typical story of the Native American warrior named Tonto, recalls stories of how Johnny Reed, a man of the law, transformed himself into a legend of justice who is called Lone Ranger.
Gregg: But they do reveal his name in the movie, that's one of the fun parts about this movie, I liked it a lot.
Tim: Let me just get into it. Lone Rangers is one of my favorite movies of the year. I think it's a lock for Best Picture. I'd enjoyed so many different parts of this movie, especially the horse riding and the western. It is almost like a western and that's why I loved about it because I love westerns and thank you. I love this movie, what do you think?
Gregg: It's a cool movie, it's a cool movie. Disney's usually known more for their animation and it's neat to see him branching out with something like this and of course Johnny Depp is always gonna be an asset to any production that he's involved in.
Tim: Yeah, I always thought that Johnny Depp would play Lone Ranger and this was, what a twist of Disney to say, no, he will play Tonto, which is the opposite character that you imagine him to be. 'Cause when I saw the coming out I thought Armie Harmer might have been a Indian man and that's who was playing Tonto. So this was a big switch and I thought it worked.
Gregg: Well it's movie magic and part of movie magic is misdirection, just as with real magic. And yeah, Tonto is a more important character than the Lone Ranger.
Tim: Okay, well I'm giving this as high a score as you can give which is six bags of popcorn and five bags of soda.
Gregg: The highest score is five bags of popcorn. I'm gonna dock it one point, actually one bag of popcorn because I think the film should have been directed by Tim Burton. I think it would have been a better film. That said, Johnny Depp was just so good in it. I'm gonna bring and restore that bag 'cause the movie was great.
Tim: Okay, so how many?
Gregg: It's five bags of popcorn, total. And a little chocolate heart for Johnny Depp 'cause I loved his performance.
Tim: Alright. Or a horse for the Lone Ranger, or the mask from Lone Ranger.
Gregg: A chocolate horse.
Tim: Alright, well go check out the Lone Ranger. We both agree that it's one of the great movies of the year. Probably will be a lock for Best Picture, Best Oscar winner. And Johnny Depp, best supporting actor for Lone Ranger. Before we get into the next movie, Despicable Me 2, which I can't wait to talk about, I do wanna address my wounds or these darn bandages, as you can tell. I did have the surgery and a lot of you guys know that and I wanna thank everybody for your kind words and support. It's been a tough couple of months. I really did feel like I was knock-knock-knocking on heaven's door.
Gregg: Bob Dylan.
Tim: It was pretty touched and go there. I thought for sure I was gonna be passed away. And long story short, I did get a second opinion. And surgery happened much to the chagrin of my wife who didn't believe in the surgery. So we weren't getting the surgery until... Push come to shove.. and we're- I'm divorced. So going through that process of, as a lot of people always do, get divorced. Anyway, not any of your business, none of my business.
Gregg: Was it cancer or what was it?
Tim: It was blood clots that they were able to remove surgically.
Gregg: But did they test them?
Tim: There was a difference between tumors and clots. So these were just blood clots. It's deals with the veins in your brain. Anyways, they got it finished and we can move on but they have to let the scar heal and everything
'cause they split your skull open and the recovery time is very painful. In fact, it was just a week ago and the doctor said I'm not supposed to do anything for two weeks. So I had- but I had to keep my commitments with this show. And so I have a very ter- a lot of pain in my head, headache. Which... Anyway, I got on herbal supplements which are doing the trick for sure. Let the healing begin and thank you guys for all your well-wishings. Wishes. And thank you Gregg for staying by me and supporting the show.
Gregg: And for getting the ball rolling and having people send you cards and letters telling you to get the surgery.
Tim: Alright. Yes, thank you. Anyways, Despicable Me 2, starring Steve Carell, Al Pacino, Kristen W- Kristen Wiig with two I's. Miranda Cosgrove, Russell Brand and Steve Coogan. This is a cartoon and it is basically a sequel, Dispicable Me 2. Evil Mastermind Gru is recruited by the anti-villain league to help deal with a powerful new super criminal. I love the first Dispicable Me and there's no reason why I wouldn't love this as well and it's true. It is so fun and funny and it is for kids but it is also for adults who love good movies. The story was great and how fun was it to hear the voice of Al Pacino?
Gregg: That was a trip. He's won an Oscar before for serious roles. This is more of a comedic role and I think he'll win an Oscar for this one too. I loved it.
Tim: Yes, well I don't know if you can win an Oscar just for being a voice actor.
Gregg: I don't think they have restrictions. It's the best actor of the year. It doesn't matter if they're wearing a mask. It's just whoever did the best job and I think Al Pacino is definitely in contention.
Tim: Yeah, well that'd be interesting to see if it could be a world record to see if an actor wins just by the voice. And I'm giving it four bags of popcorn and five cups of soda.
Gregg: This is a kind of movie that you take kids to so I'm gonna give it five bags of popcorn and five bags of mixed candy.
Tim: Okay, well now you have some thoughts on what you should see this weekend. By the way, today we're gonna celebrate the celebrity birthdays and we call it On Birthdays.
*On Birthdays music*
Tim: Okay, today's birthday is July 3rd and exciting, this is amazing 'cause it is our first time we're doing this segment. How fortunate we are to have one of the greats, Tom Cruise's birthday today, happy birthday Tom.
Gregg: Happy birthday Mr. Master, Tom Cruise.
Tim: Happy birthday Tom Cruise, we love you and we love all the movies you're in. Especially Jack Reacher is my favorite movie last year and all of your movies really. And even his latest movie, which we didn't get to review called Oblivion, which I loved and I will love every movie you've been in.
Gregg: He's not getting older, he's getting better.
Tim: Mm-hm. So happy birthday Tom and we wish you many more and...
Gregg: And I'd love to see him in Despicable Me 3.
Tim: We're gonna say and many more movies.
Gregg: And many more movies, yeah, sorry.
Tim:  Alright, well, our next, finally we got our old segment, hopefully it's gonna be a Tom Cruise movie, Popcorn Classics, let's hear it, Gregg.
*Popcorn Classics music*
Gregg: This week, my popcorn classic is two weeks notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. And this is a romantic comedy that I highly recommend. What?
Tim: I thought you were gonna do a Tom Cruise movie.
Gregg: Well, I didn't know it was his birthday until just now.
Tim: Some film buff.
Gregg: I'm a film buff, not a birthday buff.
Tim: What's with the red tape on the bottom?
Gregg: This is my new coding system, internal coding for my collection to keep people from stealing the tapes. Sort of a, it's cheaper than an alarm system, let me put it that way. And make sure that the tapes belong to me.
Tim: What do you mean, I mean, how does that stop people from stealing the tapes?
Gregg: Well, if I loan a tape here, a tape to you, a tape to somebody else, and then I don't always remember that I've loaned them as time goes by, then I go over to your house and I'm looking through your tapes and I see, oh look, this one's got red tape, this one of mine, so then I can retrieve the films. And also that way if professional burglars broke into the house or something and took all the tapes and then they turn up in pawn shops or whatever, I can say to the police, this is one of mine, and then you're entitled to retrieve your stolen merchandise that way. So it's, you know, it's a lot of fun to do.
Tim: Alright, what do the numbers stand for? I don't get what the numbers stand for.
Gregg: This is an internal coding system. T is for the title Two, Two Weeks Notice: T. 5 is my rating, five bags of popcorn. 0 is the decade that the movie was released, not made, but released, this was in the 2000s. L is the first letter of the director's last name, this was directed by Mark Lawrence. 35 is the shelf number where I keep the tape and 48 is the tape number.
Tim: Couldn't you just use the last two numbers then if it's the tape number?
Gregg: Well, if you only had 99 tapes, but I have significantly more than that.
Tim: Okay, I have to stop now 'cause my head's starting to really hurt. So we'll be back next week and hopefully I'll be feeling a little better.
Gregg: And check out two weeks notice.
Tim: And uh... I can't see anything past, I can't see anything past like here. So if there's something you're telling me, I can't see it.
Gregg: They're just done.
Tim: Okay. Hm?
Gregg: The episode's done.
Tim: What's that?
Gregg:Episode's done.
Tim: Mm. Thank you for watching.
Tim: There's like a ringing in my ear.
Gregg: Guess how many shelves I have.
Tim: Oh, that would make sense, yeah. I can't- I can't hear you.

Transcribed by oddreflection
