Tim: These are great movies!
Tim: When you got movies like Tom Cruise in them, you can't lose.
Tim: Six bags of popcorn, two sodas. 
Tim: It's on cinema at the cinema with me, your host, Tim Heidecker.
Tim: Hi everybody, welcome to On Cinema at the Cinema. My name is Tim Heidecker, I'm the host of the show and it is a movie site- it is a movie review show. And my uh, my guest is Gregg Turkington.
Gregg: Hey guys, I'm here to provide expertise.
Tim: Okay, before we get into our reviews today, I just wanna mention we are currently selling the On Cinema mug and it's a really great mug which I've been enjoying and it's got on the back here, it came from a saying that my guest Gregg Turkington said, "thank god for coffee." And I said, ah, it's like TGIF. And so I say "TGFC". Or thank goodness for coffee. 
Gregg: The more coffee you drink, the more movies you can watch.
Tim: I'm not so much of a coffee guy, but you are a coffee addict and but you can put anything into this. This is my used mug so it has some, actually was my wife's so now I've got everything in boxes. So I just found this the other day. And um-
Gregg: Soup is good in it.
Tim: Mm-hm. And hot tea. 
Tim: *drops mug*
Tim: Well, we have a lot more actually in stock so don't worry about that. Plenty more. Uh, our movies today, one is called Turbo which is a 3D animated movie. And it's actually opening today. It's directed by David Sorin starring actor, Ryan Reynolds, one of my favorite actors, Burt Reynolds's son. Paul Giam- Giamedy. And Giamedy. Giamedy. Paul Giamedy.
Gregg: Giamatti.
Tim: Paul Giamatti.
Gregg: The great Paul Giamatti.
Tim: Italian guy...
Gregg: Oscar winner.
Tim: Michael Pina and Bill Hader. So this is another great animated movie about a freak accident that might just help an everyday garden snail achieve his biggest dream to win the Indy 500. I love this movie, it had everything for me. It had great adventure, comedy, obviously some of the voices were familiar to my ear and I love car racing and I love, I wish it was NASCAR, that was my only disagreement with it but Indy 500 is the best as well so I don't have too many problems with that. I give it five bags of popcorn and five bags of soda. Five cups of soda.
Gregg: Yeah, I love the movie too. It's sort of a unique take on the race theme. Usually if you have 'slow and steady wins the race' it would be a turtle. In this case it's a snail. So I thought that was kind of interesting, interesting choice and the voice work is excellent. As you mentioned, so I would give it five bags of popcorn and a little shake of salt because that's how you kill snails in your garden, is you salt them.
Tim: Well we wouldn't want to kill the hero of the movie.
Gregg: No, but I mean if you have snails in your garden. 
Tim: I just thought it was so interesting how, I was watching the movie and I never knew what was going on which I liked, that sort of air of mystery,
Gregg: Yeah.
Tim: And it didn't treat me like a child, they didn't make me feel- It made me feel like a child watching it. In other words, I didn't know- I was confused.
Gregg: I was confused too because when I first got the email about this one, the letter was cut off so it said Turbo 3 and I was like, I've never heard of Turbo 1 or 2 and then when I actually opened the email there was a D after the 3, it was in 3D.
Tim: That's not necessary. Keep that junk to yourself. I'm so tired. I can't sleep on the left side, I usually sleep on the left side of my head and because of where the scar is I can't sleep that way so I'm not getting any sleep. 
Gregg: Well, if you hadn't broken the coffee glass I would get you  a cup of coffee. Wake you up.
Tim: Red 2 directed by Bruce Willis and starring- I'm sorry, directed by Dean Prashnot and starring Bruce Willis, listen to this list, this is an impressive list. I mean, this has gotta be like the best cast there ever was. Bruce Willis, Anthony Hopkins, John Malch- Malkovich, Helen Herman- Helen Merman, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary Tyler- Mary Louise Parker. Wow. I mean, I don't- they could have just put these people in a room sat 'em around a table and had them talk about the weather for two hours and would have been probably a great movie.
Gregg: Not as good as it is when they're in this action sort of scenario with these assassins. I think that's what really makes the movie in this case, is the plot.
Tim: I agree. I told you, I agree that this is a better movie than even the first Red, which was one of my favorite movies from a few years ago, Red with Bruce Willis. And this is almost like, it's uh, Frank Moses and his motley crew of retired assassins return for a second outing. Is the descr- is the plot. And basically this is an action adventure with a lot of humor, a lot of heart and a lot of familiar faces. And it's probably my favorite movie of the year.
Gregg: And some, a lot of violence, I gotta say. If you're not a violence fan, stay away from this one.
Tim: But I still give it five bags of popcorn in two sodas. 
Gregg: I'm not a fan of real violence, but I am a fan of movie violence when it serves the plot, and it did in this movie. This is about assassins. These are not nice people. You don't wanna, these are not babysitters they're talking about. These are assassins. So there's gonna be some blood spilled and there is. And so I'm gonna give it five bags of popcorn and five packages of Band-Aids for all the blood that is spilled in this great movie.
Tim: Alright, well it gets two thumbs up from, or two, or I'm sorry, two, five bags of popcorn from me and five bags from you. Not thumbs up... All right, forget that. Nothing to do with us.
Gregg: No. We have our own system.
Tim: Alright, well finally we got a new segment we're debuting today. Let us know what you think of these segments by the way. Love hearing the feedback, go on to oncinemapodcast.com or follow us on-
Gregg: People love the segments.
Tim: I'm not finished with the plugs for the, where do people to contact us. Oncinemapodcast-
Gregg: They already know 'cause I'm getting lots of emails and Twitter.
Tim: Oncinemapodcast on Twitter and the oncinemapodcast.com and the Facebook also.
Gregg: And website.
Tim: Website oncinemapodcast.com.
Tim: This is a new segment called On Popcorn from Gregg Turkington.
*On Popcorn music*
Gregg: Hello and welcome to On Cinema On Popcorn, a special new segment where we look at popular popcorn brands and examine their flavors and see which are the best for you, the viewer. My guest today is none other than On Cinema Host and Creator, Mr. Tim Heidecker. Tim, thanks for coming and being a part of my show. Tim, I'm gonna ask you to try some of the top popcorn on the market today and give me your opinion. This is the type of thing that you would eat if you were at home watching a real movie, you pop some up. Now, anyone who watches On Cinema knows we rate the films using a five bag system. We thought we'd turn the tables and give the popcorn a five videotape system.
Tim: Okay, these are my three I can choose from?
Greg: These are the three that we're gonna choose from.
Tim: *eats popcorn*
Greg: Oh, hold on. We need you to clear your palate first by having a bite of barbecue potato chip and a sip of water to clear your palate so that you can start from scratch and then try our first popcorn, which today is Orville Redenbacher, the Cadillac of popcorn.
Tim: *chewing* *spits*
Gregg: Okay, now just take a handful and take a bite and see what you think.
Tim: I got a lot of barbecue in my mouth now.
Gregg: Clear the palate.
Tim: *swishes water* *spits*
Tim: Okay, or the redenbacher?
Gregg: Orville Redenbacher right here. See what you think. One of the all-time original popcorns.
Tim: Yeah, it's good. It tastes like movie theater popcorn, kind of buttery and salty and popcorn.
Gregg: So on the scale of zero videotapes being the worst and five videotapes being the best, what would you rate Orville Redenbacher?
Tim: I guess I'd do four bag- four videotapes.
Gregg: Okay, cleanse the palate and we'll move on to our next flavor, which is actually Pop Secret.
Tim: Okay, Pop Secret?
Gregg: Yeah, pop secret is one of the original microwave popcorns. They may have invented it, in fact, for all I know. What do you think?
Tim: This one has, like they cooked it too long. It's like a little overcooked. Black. Burnt. Like a burnt taste.
Tim: Come on in.
Gregg: We're shooting a popcorn video.
Tim: It's okay, you wanna...
Gregg: So, a little burnt, huh?
Tim: Yeah, find a piece thats not burnt?
Gregg: I might have burnt it, so.
Tim: I'll find a piece that's not burnt.
Gregg: I don't want a disparage Pop Secret, 'cause I think-
Tim: No, it's good, it's like this one. It tastes like popcorn.
Gregg: Sorry I burned it, but...
Tim: Four bag- four uh, I guess four tapes.
Gregg: Four VHS tapes, okay. Any differences you noticed?
Tim: Mm-mm.
Gregg: Okay. And our last brand is a store brand. I'm not gonna give the name of the store. This is just the inexpensive store brand. Anyone can buy it, anyone can try it. You don't have to microwave it. It comes already ready to eat in the bag, which is why I like it, 'cause I don't have a microwave anymore, unfortunately. What do you think?
Tim: I don't... It's not as buttery and salty as the other two.
Gregg: Okay, it is lightly salted, it's a lightly salted.
Tim: It's a little dry. So, three movie videotapes.
Gregg: You like that one the least of the three?
Tim: Yeah, one, two, three.
Gregg: That would be my favorite of the three. I guess partially for the convenience, partially for the price, but of course nothing beats real movie popcorn, so if you're at the cinema, be sure and support your local popcorn stand.
Tim: Okay.
Gregg: Thank you, Tim, for being a guest on the show, and we'll see you later.
*On Popcorn music*
Tim: All right, that's our show. Thanks for watching.
Gregg: Hope you enjoyed the segment.
*theme music*
Tim: I wanna go see this again.
Gregg: That's what it's called, Red 2. See it twice.

Transcribed by oddreflection
