*theme music*
Tim: This is a great movie, you're not gonna regret it.
Tim: I'm Tim Heidecker.
Tim: great guests, great conversations, and a few arguments, it's On Cinema at the Cinema.
Tim: Hi everybody, welcome back to On Cinema at the Cinema. My name is Tim Heidecker, and this is our show where we talk about movies, or actually review movies. And um... this is the episode for uh, for this week. And my guest is Gregg Turkington.
Gregg: Hey guys, good to be here, and to be part of the On Cinema Family.
Tim: Alright. I am... Oof, my head's in about a thousand places. I got back into this too quick.
Gregg: Well, let's just talk about the movies.
Tim: I could use... I could have used another month.
Gregg: And if you need a break or something I'm always happy to host the show.
Tim: Alright, let's talk about The Wolverine with James Mangold, directed by James Mangold, actored- acting by Hugh Jackman. Ugh. I don't know any of these names. Fankie Jakeson. Famke Janssen. Brian Tee, what the hell is a Brian Tee? Brian Lee.
Gregg: It's like a golf term or something, huh?
Tim: Well, this is a bunch of no-names, except for Hugh Jackman. Wolverine makes a voyage to modern day Japan, where he faces his ultimate nemesis in a battle that will leave him forever changed.
Tim: I can't keep doing these names. If it's gonna be a foreign, is this a foreign film?
Tim: This movie was great. It was, I love the X-Men, and I love everything... I love... great action movie. Five bags of popcorn, and go see this movie 'cause it's the X-Men, and they deserve everything.
Gregg: And I'm a big X-head. That's what we call ourselves, us X-Men fans. So there was a lot of anticipation about another Wolverine movie, and I have to say this is kind of the Gone With The Wind of Wolverine movies, the old Clark Gable classic, in that, it's a long movie. If you've got back problems, bring a pillow, have a couple cups of coffee, 'cause this one goes on and on, and in the best possible way. I love the Wolverine. It could have gone on for 24 hours. I would have been happy.
Tim: If you're gonna have- if you're gonna bring coffee, bring your On Cinema mug that's available now in the store. Pick that up. How many bags?
Gregg: I give it five bags of popcorn, and then 10 cups of coffee, 'cause it's long. Be ready for the long haul.
Tim: Our next movie is a Woody Allen movie called Blue Jasmine, starring Woody Allen, directed by Woody Allen. Let's hear it for Woody Allen, back in the sadddle.
Gregg: I'm a big fan of Woody Allen fan so this is kinda neat.
Tim: Yeah, I think he's made a hundred movies, and this'll be his 101st, with Kate Blanchett and Alec Baldwin, and Peter Sarsgaard, and Louis C.K.... Louis C.K.? That's his last name?
Gregg: It's an abbreviation, those are initials.
Tim: C.K. what? C.K. Louis?
Gregg: It's like The Rock, or one of these types of names where they've abbreviated it, and that's kinda cool.
Tim: It's not cool. That's a story about the final stages of an acute crisis in the life of fashionable New York housewife. This is another classic. Of course, whenever Woody makes a movie, it's an infant classic, 'cause he is one of the greats, one of the masters, and this one gets my vote for Best Picture of the Year. So I think everyone's gonna rush to the theaters to see this movie. It's his best.
Gregg: I did.
Tim: It's funny, I used to go see these movies with my wife, and now I have, you know, sort of this vacuum, this hole's opened up, and I appreciate- I went to go see the movie with you. That was the first time we've gone to see a movie together, and that was a nice night. We had a nice dinner, went to Carrabas, and I appreciate your company.
Gregg: Yeah, I had a lot of fun. We should do that more often.
Tim: Absolutely.
Gregg: Kinda get more in tune for the show too, that way.
Tm: Yeah, we ended up talking a lot about other Woody Allen movies, and learned a lot about you.
Gregg: And about Woody Allen. And I have seen all his movies. The thing I always liked about Woody Allen was that a lot of filmmakers, they're making the movie from the wallet, and he's making it from the heart. And you can really see the difference when you watch a movie like this, compared to some of the other movies we've reviewed.
Tim: Well, I appreciate that insight, and I appreciate the time you spent, and I was- I have to admit, I was a little emotional that night, and this movie got into some relationship issues.
Gregg: Mm-hmm. Most of his do. That's something that, Woody Allen, that's his particular interest.
Tim: One of his trademarks.
Gregg: Just like with Bruce Lee movies, you know there's gonna be some action, and some karate, and with Woody Allen, you know that there's gonna be some moments from the heart.
Tim: Mm. Now, obviously this is a six-bagger, this is a classic, instant classic, 'cause it's from the mind of Woody Allen. So we're not gonna waste time giving it our review. What we'd like to do now is our brand new segment, called Actors on Directors.
Gregg: On Cinema Actors on Directors.
Tim: On Cinema Actors on Directors, and our guest is Joe Estvez, and you'll see our interview where we talk about Woody Allen right now. Let's show the clip.
*On Directors music*
Tim: Hi everybody, welcome to OCP: Stars on Directors. That's On Cinema Presents: Stars on Directors, with my guest, Gregg Turkington, and a special guest-
Gregg: The creator of the segment.
Tim: Co-creator of the segment.
Gregg: I like creating these special segments, and it's a lot of fun.
Tim: This should be a fun one. Let's welcome our guest, the movie star, Joe Estevez.
Joe: Ha, ha, ha. Thank you. Gregg, good to see you again my friend.
Gregg: Good to see you again, Joe. Thanks for coming out.
Joe: And nice to meet you!
Tim: Nice to meet you finally, yes.
Joe: It is a pleasure.
Tim: Enjoyed your...
Joe: Thank you for inviting me back.
Gregg: I love it.
Joe: Yeah, yeah. Eh?
Tim: Well, we're here talking about the films of Woody Allen. I wanted to get your perspective on his work, and Gregg, of course, yours.
Joe: Yeah.
Tim: You know, he's got a new one coming out now, and we reviewed it, we talked about it a little bit, but have you gotten a chance to see it yet?
Joe: I- I- I have not. I have not.
Tim: Okay. What's your sort of perspective on him?
Joe: Yeah, I don't know anybody else making movies today that is the genius that he is. He- he is an incredible filmmaker.
Gregg: Spielberg. Steven Spielberg.
Joe: Well, yeah, but can he play a clarinet? I don't know. I mean...
Gregg: He plays a piano.
Tim: All right, yeah. But an accomplished musician? I know he's won Best Director, he's won Best Writer. I know he was nominated for Best Actor, I don't know if-
Gregg: Yeah, I think he won a couple times.
Joe: Yeah, so-
Tim: If you had a top 10 list of American directors, where would he be on the list?
Joe: He'd be about number three. Yeah.
Gregg: Behind Spielberg and who else?
Joe: Behind Hitchcock and... um... maybe he'd be number two.
Tim: What do you think is the thing that is funny about him, though? I mean, why do we laugh when we see Woody? I actually can't, since my surgery, I've not been able to laugh.
Joe: Aww. *tickling Tim* Goochi-goochi-goochi. He don't laugh!
Tim: No no, it's not- it's not a, I mean, I still find things funny, but because of where the-
Joe: Took the funny bone out did they? The funny bone...
Tim: No, there is a part of your brain that affects the ability to laugh, to make the sound of laughter.
Joe: Ohh, so you- I'm sorry!
Tim: That's fine. I'm just saying-
Joe: That's gonna be the doggonedest thing.
Tim: It's weird, because you'll be watching something and... just nothing comes out.
Joe: Yeah, yeah...
Tim: But if you- if Woody Allen's such a popular director, or if his movies are so well-loved, why do they always come out to be flops? Like what, maybe not all of them, but if they're so great, why aren't they the number one movie of the year? Why don't they win the Best Picture? These kind of questions.
Joe: Well...
Tim: Why hasn't he had Tom Cruise in his movies and those kinds of things?
Joe: You know, it's like great writers or whatever. They're never really respected by- while they're alive, you know? I think after he passes, if he ever does, when we can be very objective about his work, I think we'll realize what a incredible filmmaker this gentleman was.
Gregg: If you could pick any classic comedy from the classic era of comedies from the '50s and '40s, to have Woody Allen remake it in a modern setting, what would you choose?
Joe: Oh gosh. I mean, I don't believe any good film should be remade. I think it's just... lea- leave well enough alone. Walk away.
Gregg: What about The Nutty Professor, though? That was better the second time around.
Joe: You know, you got me on that, it was. It really was. And I did, way back in the day, I did the play when I was just a kid. "Play it again, Sam" and played the Woody Allen character. And in playing it, all the nuances that I would find, the gags between it-
Tim: Do we have a clip?
Joe: No it's a play.
Tim: Oh, okay.
Joe: Yeah, and since I did Play It Again, Sam I have always respected his talent.
Gregg: And who's the new Woody Allen, who's gonna fill his shoes? It would have to be somebody like an Adam Sandler or Eddie Murphy or somebody of that nature.
Joe: Yeah, yeah...
Gregg: I would like to see him in like, say, one of the Star Wars or Raiders of Lost Ark or a series like that, just in a cameo, 'cause I think it would sort of make things more interesting for the viewer if Woody popped up here and again.
Joe: That would be incredible.
Tim: Depends on what they're offering him money-wise, y'know?
Joe: Yeah, he's probably got so much money now that he could, you know.
Tim: Of course he lives in New York, that's an expensive city. You gotta think his rent's gotta be $3,000 a month.
Joe: Gotta be sky high. So he's probably only got $2 billion then. *chuckles*
Gregg: I always wondered why you couldn't have a Woody Allen movie that took place in Texas. It's always New York, New York, Paris-
Tim: Well, you made one that took place in Texas.
Gregg: What was it?
Tim: The uh... Manhatt- or not Manhattan...
Joe: Where was the yellow rose or The Purple Rose Of Cairo, where was that?
Tim: Texas.
Joe: There you go. Yeah. But, you know what, the old adage: you write what you know, you know? Mr. Allen knows New York, so that's where he's gonna... and they love him there.
Gregg: They do love him there.
Tim: George Lucas isn't from the space and he writes movies about space.
Joe: Yeah, but he's in space, kinda.
Tim: Right.
Joe: Yeah, I won't.
Tim: Anyways, Joe, thank you very much for coming on the show. We appreciate-
Joe: Thank you. What a pleasure. What a pleasure. I had a ball.
Gregg: Thanks a lot.
Tim: And we'll get back to the show.
Tim: Alrght, well, thanks. I thought that was an interesting segment. Thank you to Joe Estevez for coming by and sharing his insight. And thanks for watching.
*theme music*
Tim: I think if you want to come over tonight, I'm gonna probably watch the show Boston Legal.
Gregg: I still have the leftovers from Carrabas, I can bring them over and we can reheat them.

Transcribed by oddreflection
