*theme music*
Tim: These are great movies!
Tim: Ah man. This movie had it all. It had action, drama, comedy, suspense, and dance. It's On Cinema at the Cinema with me, your host, Tim Heidecker.
Tim: Hi everybody, my name is Tim Heidecker, and I am here with another episode of my show that I host called "On Cinema at the Cinema," a movie review show, and it is on web. And my guest is the uh, Gregg Turkington.
Gregg: Hey guys, how are you doing?
Tim: Fine.
Gregg: I'm talking to the...
Tim: Our first movie... Our first movie today is a movie called The Smurfs 2, and boy, we've, we had embarrassment of riches the past several weeks with sequels and animated sequels especially, but also just regular sequels like Red 2. The Smurfs 2 is directed by Raja Gosnell, sort of an Indian name, but with an American name in the back.
Gregg: Sounds like a smurf name, doesn't it?
Tim: Yes, we have, this story is about, we got Jonathan Winters in this movie, the late Jonathan Winters, and Christina Reeky, Neil Patris Harris, and Anton Yelchin. And the Smurfs team up with their human friends to rescue Smurfette, who has been kidnapped by Gargamel since she knows a secret spell that can turn his newest invention, creatures called Nauties into real Smurfs. So, very, very complicated *burp* story for Smurfs to get involved with in this episode of Smurfs. This was one of my favorite movies. I love the first "Murfs" a lot. I love the whole blue thing where everything says, everything is about blue and the color blue and the way they say Smurfs is this and Smurfs is that. I loved it, and I think they're gonna probably keep making these Smurfs movies, 'cause they're very fun and very funny, and got a lot of heart and a lot of soul. My review of it is four bags of popcorn
Gregg: Yeah, I thought it was interesting to see some of the loose ends from the first movie tied up, and it was a great movie. If you grew up watching the Smurfs, as I think we all did, it's kinda neat to see it expanded into a movie-length feature, and especially repeated the following year, and I hope this is one of those franchises like Star Trek that we see become a regular presence on our screens.
Tim: What about Jonathan Winters? I mean, this was his final film. Of course, he passed away before. He didn't get to go to the premiere party. He passed away.
Gregg: Very sad.
Tim: But what does that do to the film? How does that affect the way it's received?
Gregg: The box office. Yeah, no, it's gonna be beneficial to the film. I mean, anytime someone dies, it's not beneficial, but in terms of the money coming in through the door, people are gonna wanna say goodbye to Jonathan Winters in a classy way, and what better way than to go see his final work?
Tim: I wonder how the Academy will handle it.
Gregg: They might start doing a best comic actor category, like the Golden Globes do at the Oscars as well. And if they do, it's probably the death of Jonathan Winters that would spur it on because he does deserve an Oscar, and this seems like the perfect role for that Oscar.
Tim: Alright, well, if the Academy's watching, let us- let them know that we believe that Jonathan Winters deserves a posthumous Academy award for his role in Smurfs 2. I give Smurfs 2 five bags of popcorn.
Gregg: I give Smurfs 2 five bags of popcorn, of course, and throw in five blue popsicles, 'cause that's what the Smurfs would eat.
Tim: Pretty typical. Let's see here, our second movie this week is coming out 300: Rise of an Empire. This is sequel to one of my favorite movies called 300, and it stars Noah Burrow, actors, Reva- Eva Green, Lena Heady, again, I don't know who any of these people are. This is the problem with this movie. I give it- let me say this: I give it four bags of popcorn right off the bat because it's a... because the action. But this movie made a huge mistake. It didn't have Harold Butlard in it, or Gerald Butlard in it, who was the star of the first one, and they made a huge mistake by not getting this guy in the second movie. I don't know what they're thinking.
Gregg: Well if his character dies you can't bring him back.
Tim: He didn't die in the first one, so why would- This movie is worth seeing, but it's disgusting and to disgrace to movies that he's not in it, and I think everybody in Hollywood owes Gerald-
Gregg: Maybe the actor died. If somebody dies- he should show him the winners.
Tim: Gerald Butler did not die, he was in-
Gregg: Jonathan Winters is not gonna be in the Smurfs 3.
Tim: No.
Gregg: Unless they use outtakes.
Tim: No, I saw Gerald Butler was in, we did the review of it, Playing For Keeps. He's still alive, we would know about that because we would have- if he had passed away, we'd know it just the way we knew when James Dean died.
Gregg: But if this character dies, then he's not gonna be in the next movie unless it's flashback scenes, and they do use those sometimes in some of the Harry Potter movies, or even in Star Wars.
Tim: Well, look at up. 300, the original one had alive- Gerald Butler was alive at the end of it. The character of Gerald Butler was alive, I believe. I can't remember the ending. But he should have been in this one, and that's why I only give it four bags of popcorn.
Gregg: Yeah, you know, whether a character leaves or stays isn't really how you review movies, that's kinda amateurish, I'm gonna give it five bags of popcorn, and throw in-
Tim: But you understood, there's no star power in this movie, I mean, nobody here rises to the occasion, I think if you wanna see a positive Star Wars movie, or a positive star power movie, go see Smurfs 2.
Gregg: Well, I mean, you talk about Star Wars, when Star Wars came out, no one had heard of Mark Hamill, no one had heard of Carrie Fisher, no one had heard of Harrison Ford, it went on to be the most beloved movie of all time. This movie has a chance to do the same thing. I give it five bags of popcorn, and 300 little bits of caramel corn.
Tim: Alright, let me just say, it's a Greek general, Thermosocle- Therm-... some Greek name, battles an invading army of Persians who are commanded by the mortal god turned Zexus.
Gregg: Less confusing than it sounds, I think anyone can follow this plot, it's a good movie.
Tim: It's a bad movie.
Tim: So let's have a popcorn classic.
*Popcorn Classic music*
Gregg: My popcorn classic today is Jack Frost, starring Michael Keaton, and it's a family film, kind of a Christmas movie, and you might say, "Why are we doing Christmas movies in summer?" Well, the good Christmas movies are movies you can watch year round, just as you would watch a summer movie, sometimes in December, it doesn't make a difference, if the-
Tim: Sometimes when I, if the temperature's very hot, you wanna put on a cool movie.
Gregg: Sort of as a way to cool off, you know, if you can't get to the beach, that might be a fun trick. It's a cool movie, he's the world's coolest dad. So this is definitely one you should see, and this movie is sort of historic for me personally, because I'd like to announce right here on On Cinema that I am launching an effort to get in the Guinness Book of World Records, and this is the first movie that I watched as part of that effort. I watched this last night. I'm doing something called 500 Movies in 500 Days, where I'm gonna watch 500 Movies in 500 Days, get in the Guinness Book. I think I can do it. I watched two last nights, so I'm already one ahead. It's never been done that I know of. This is the official World Records submission form, which I'm gonna fill out a little close to-
Tim: Look at that, Guinness World Records Official World Record- that's pretty cool.
Gregg: Exactly. I'm not gonna fill it out yet, I'm gonna wait 'til I've got 400 films under my belt. And I need three witnesses. They don't have to watch the entire movie with me, but they have to verify that I did actually watch the movie. So I could sure use the support of the viewers out there. Some of the movies I'm gonna watch at home, that still counts, but a lot of them I'll see in the theater. So if you see me in the theater watching something come up and wish me luck, cheer me on.
Tim: All right, well that's pretty cool. I'd love to support you with that. And everybody, as Gregg said, go out there and get online and find- just show your support for Gregg here. And even in the comments here, let us know what you think about this crazy idea to watch 100 movies in-
Gregg: 500 movies.
Tim: 500 movies in-
Gregg: In 500 days.
Tim: Right.
Gregg: And if you have any suggestions for movies you want me to watch to be part of this,
let me know, and if I have them in my library already-
Tim: I was gonna say you might run out of idea- You might have run out of ideas.
Gregg: I got more than 500 movies in my library, but I'm trying to watch movies I haven't seen before, which makes- I don't have to do that to get in the book, but it's just my own personal little thing that I'm throwing in there.
Tim: How many years is that?
Gregg: It's just over a year, 500 days. It's 365 days in a year, so another 135 days. So it's gonna be a busy year, but it's gonna be fun. I really am looking forward to this.
Tim: What happens if you, like on Christmas or the holidays or something like that, would you-
Gregg: Usually I will watch a movie on Christmas, so that shouldn't be a problem. Like I said, I've already got two movies on the first day. I'm gonna try to get ahead, and that way if I get sick or if I'm working-
Tim: Alright. Well, thank you, interesting, very interesting stuff there. And go see Smurfs 2. That's my official recommendation. Five bags of popcorn.
Gregg: Five bags.
Tim: And Rise of the Empire of 300 could use a lot more Gerald Butler, but still worth checking out.
Gregg: I thought it was good. I didn't need Gerald Butler, I loved the movie. Five bags of popcorn.
Tim: Thanks for watching.
*theme music*
Tim: So how does this is work?
Gregg: I mean, I get three witnesses sign off and show that I watched the movie. They don't have to watch the whole movie with but...
Tim: *sighs* I have to go to the bathroom.

Transcribed by oddreflection
