*theme music*
Tim: Three bags of popcorn! Four bags of popcorn! Five bags of popcorn! Five bags of popcorn, two sodas.
Tim: It's On Cinema at the Cinema with me, your host, Tim Heidecker.
Tim: Hi, hey everybody, it's Tim Heidecker here, back for another episode of On Cinema at the Cinema. And it's the web series where we talk about movies and review movies and having a really fun time doing it too. And I'm glad you guys enjoy it. My guest is Ayaka. Great to see you again.
Ayaka: You too.
Tim: And Ayaka and I are doing very good. We just did this Tough Mutta it's called. It's a competition where you go and compete and it's a very athletic thing. She's getting me into athletics now. Anyway, and my other guest is Gregg Turkington. Gregg's back on the show.
Gregg: Hey guys.
Tim: And Gregg, great to have you back. And I love having the two guests. It really creates more of a round table kind of show and people are loving it. So glad you could be back. And let's just say that Gregg and I had a little disagreement a couple weeks ago. We've worked that out. I'm happy to say thanks to Ayaka, the peacemaker. I appreciate the, you know, you caring about that relationships are not just about, you know, who's right and who's wrong. So.
Tim: Alright. But Gregg, great to have you back. I want to talk about the movie this weeknd. The Getaway with Ethan Hawke, Selena Gomez and John Voight. Brett Magna is the name of this main character. Must get behind the wheel and follow the orders of a mysterious man to save his kidnapped wife. This is a great movie we saw it two nights ago and it was really fun. It was-
Ayaka: Exciting.
Tim: We kind of snuggled in and got... we had the popcorn and it was like a very romantic.
Ayaka: Throwing popcorn.
Tim: Yeah, well, you know.... Got in a little bit of trouble with the usher... Trust me...
Tim: Whew...
Ayaka: *blushing*
Tim: And it was a getaway movie almost like Richard... what's his name John... not John Voight, which is the- Steve McQueen. And it was a getaway car chase movie, it thrilled and chilled and what about Gregg? I give it five bags of popcorn.
Ayaka: Yes, five bags of popcorn.
Tim: Tim and Ayaka give it five bags of popcorn, isn't that so- we're always thinking alike.
Gregg: Well, I disagree with both of you. This was not, it's not a great movie. It's, you know, two bags of popcorn, I guess. It's not the Steve McQueen Getaway.
Tim: Got it. Okay, we'll be disagreeing on that. No big deal. I think it was a great movie though.
Gregg: It really wasn't.
Tim: Okay, the other movie we saw the matinee of this, the other day is One Directio: This is Us. And this is a documentary about one of your favorite groups, One Direction.
Ayaka: Yes, I loved it.
Tim: Yeah, they were, and it is for kids, but you know what, I feel like a kid at heart. So this is directed by the great Morgan Spurlock, starring Harry Styles, Nilan Horan, Louise Tomlinson, Zayik- Who's it, how do you say it? I never know how to say it. Zayn?
Ayaka: Zayn.
Tim: Zayn Malek and Liam Payne. *laughs*
Tim: It's an all access pass to the British pop sensation One Direction and concert. I, we had such fun at this movie too, 'cause I didn't even know their music, but she turned me on to, I'll tell you this Gregg, she turned me on to them and now she's got me addicted to some of their music. So by the time we went to go see it, I knew all the songs and we were having a lot of fun singing along and we took my niece who's 11 and she loves One Direction and we had so much fun watching this movie. It was kind of a bubblegum, funny. Those guys seem like good kids and the music is cool and I loved it.
Ayaka: They're cute.
Tim: *laughs* I'm not saying that, she's saying that, but...
Ayaka: Well you're a cuter.
Tim: Ah, well, I'm not the jealous guy, but believe me...
Ayaka: *giggles*
Tim: okay, give me a minute...
Tim: This was a great movie, I loved seeing it in 3D, five bags of popcorn, Gregg? Sorry, Ayaka?
Ayaka: Six bags.
Tim: Six bags of popcorn.
Gregg: I thought you guys were sharing your ratings.
Tim: No, we each have our own ratings, they match up because we're very simpacadico, simpiatico, simpacado. We have similar opinions. That's what makes us so happy together. Anyway, One Direction: This us Us. Five bags of popcorn, six bags for her and two bags of soda for me. Two cups of soda- two bottles of soda for me. Large.
Gregg: Well, I mean this isn't even a movie, that's just a concert by some kiddie band. I mean it shouldn't be reviewed on the show, you should review it if you had a show called On Terrible Music.
Tim: Oh, that's not fair. It's a new release, so we're doing all new releases.
Gregg: Well it's not really a movie, it's just some jerks playing awful music and it's not something I would watch. This is supposed to be about cinema. This has never been a show for concert movies.
Tim: All right, what's your review?
Gregg: I give it zero bags of popcorn.
Tim: Alright, well=
Gregg: I would say if you ever seen the old Disney movie, The Black Hole, that's what this movie is in terms of bags of popcorn. It's a black hole that sucked all the popcorn out of the world into the center of the earth and do a great void 'cause there's nothing to this movie and it's not a movie. Zero bags of popcorn, you guys are wrong.
Tim: Well, well.
Ayaka: That's sad.
Tim: Yeah, that's a little negative.
Gregg: Well it's not a good movie.
Tim: It's a documentary, I mean, there's plenty of-
Gregg: As critics, we're supposed to give informed opinions about films, not just parrot what our girlfriends say and maybe you should have a show called On Teen Idol Bubblegum Pop.
Gregg: You got other issues going on. You got other issues going on. You should check them out, you should go talk to somebody.
Gregg: I'd never noticed you listening to One Direction before, so why you give that five bags of popcorn, I have no idea.
Tim: Welcome to the new me baby.
Gregg: Well, I don't like it.
Tim: Okay, well who cares, what you think? Honestly, I don't know why I brought you back. I thought it was doing you a favor.
Gregg: Doing the show of favor by having somebody that knows something about movies on it.
Tim: I'm trying to be nice to you here. Nobody here likes you, okay? Nobody, none of the crew. Alright, do we have a Popcorn Classic?
Gregg: Sure.
*Popcorn Classics music*
Gregg: My Popcorn Classic this week, and this is a popular part of the show, generally, was gonna be The Family Man with Nicholas Cage, Oscar winner Nicholas Cage, and Tia Leone who hasn't yet won an Oscar, but there's still time.
Tim: I love the, yeah, I love Nicholas Cage too.
Gregg: He's great, yeah. I watched the Popcorn Classics last week where Ayaka hijacked a segment that I created and did Airheads. And when I got here earlier, her purse was in the other room, in the green room, and it was open, and I went through it, and I noticed the copy of Airheads from last week, which when I watched the episode, I was pretty fascinated to see this tape because I recognized it immediately-
Tim: Yeah, I love that-
Gregg: As my copy of airheads, I could see the red right away. This is why I set up this system to prevent thieves. You could still see part of the coding on this thing, which is all you need to indict and convict. Here's the evidence. This tape has been vandalized.
Ayaka: I have no idea.
Gregg: Where did, I mean, where did you get this? Because I've never had you in my home, and my doors have been locked. And as soon as I saw the episode, I went to the shelf where this was kept because I have a printout with all these things, and saw that there was a space where Airheads normally is. And this is why I had this system that you laughed at, this security system, is because of situations like this. And this is why the system works, and I can still see exactly what film this is because some of the number is still left here. You didn't even peel it off very carefully.
Tim: I'm not sur- I have no idea how that could have happened.
Gregg: Where did you get this?
Ayaka: I found it in a box in your room.
Tim: Uh.. I don't- I never, I've never-
Gregg: Does he have other tapes where there's a strip missing from the bottom of the box like this?
Ayaka: I don't remember.
Tim: Well, I have never seen that tape, except for last week when Ayaka brought it out. I don't know where the fuck she got it from. I'm sorry to curse, but I don't know where she got it from.
Gregg: Well, she said she got it from you.
Tim: She didn't get it from me, that's all I know.
Gregg: This tape hasn't been in my collection for several months, and if you're gonna borrow tapes, you know you're supposed to return them within a week. And certainly return them in good collection, and certain not use them-
Tim: Look, you bring in tapes all the time to the studio for different Popcorn Classics. Maybe that one got left in.
Gregg: I love this movie, but this is not a Popcorn Classic. It's a different type of thing.
Tim: It is a popcorn classic  and that's 'cause Ayaka chose it for one.
Gregg: It's a great movie, but it's not a Popcorn Classic.
Tim: Okay, well...
Gregg: But it's certainly not a classic now that the tape has been ruined and have to find another copy of this.
Tim: First time I'm seeing that-
Gregg: And it's a betrayal that you betrayed me already by giving my segment to someone else who then is stealing my property and marring it.
Tim: First time I saw Airheads, I actually saw it many years ago in the theater, but the first time I saw that tape of it was last week when Ayaka brought the tape onto the show and showed it, that's it, I swear to God. I swear to God.
Gregg: So you're saying Ayaka ripped the tape off of it, you didn't?
Tim: I don't know where Ayaka got it from.
Gregg: Who ripped the tape off.
Tim: It's not- it didn't come from my house.
Gregg: But who ripped the red tape off of this? Was it you or was it Ayaka?
Tim: I told you what I know.
Ayaka: It was like that.
Gregg: So you're saying Tim did it.
Ayaka: Yes. I didn't know something important.
Tim: You didn't get it from my house. I didn't, it was- it could not have come from my house. It could not have come from my house.
Gregg: Well-
Tim: So she's lying.
Ayaka: I'm not lying.
Tim: She's lying about this and I apologize to you 'cause I don't know how that happened. But you have to come out and tell the truth of whether you found it around here in the studio or you got into his house and took it. I don't know what you did, but you're making me- you're putting me on the spot here and I wanna say that it's, I don't appreciate it and are you being disrespectful to the show and we have big problems. Alright. We'll figure this out, Gregg.
Gregg: Well you could start figuring it out by getting another copy of the video and getting me some red tape to repair the coating on it.
Tim: I didn't take that tape off either and she has a lot of explaining to do. Alright. I'm not exactly sure what we're supposed to do here so join us next week, we'll get this figured out. Kill the lights.
*theme music*
Tim: I wanna ask you and you tell me honestly where the fuck did you get that Airheads from?
Ayaka: In your room!
Tim: You didn't get it from my room, I don't carry that shit. I have DVDs, *unintelligble*
Tim: *throws tape*
Gregg: Don't throw the tapes.

Transcribed by oddreflection
