*theme music*
Tim: I'm tellin' ya, if you see one movie this year, it's gotta be this one.
Tim: Sorry guys, I can't give great reviews to every movie I see. This one's only getting three bags of popcorn.
Tim: I don't know what movies to see this weekend, well we're here to help.
Tim: It's On Cinema at the Cinema with me, your host, Tim Heidecker.
Tim: Hola, people. My name is Tim Heidecka and you are watching On Cinema at the Cinema. And thanks for watching. I'm your host, Tim Heidecker. This is a show where we talk about movies and review them. Let me welcome my guest. I am back as the host, but now he is my guest, Gregg Turkington.
Gregg: Hey guys, yeah, you could still call me a host sometimes, I know I've broken that barrier, so.
Tim: No, you are a guest. Well, thank you so much for filling in for me last week.
Gregg: Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
Tim: Yeah, it's great to be back. A lot of you guys wrote me such wonderful messages that they missed me and they missed the whole way the show should normally be. And I gotta say, I spent the past week in St. Thomas, part of the Virgin Isles.
Gregg: Uh-huh.
Tim: I got a whole rehab part of my life and got rid of the infection. Thank God for penicillin. I'm on a whole new regiment. I got some new haircut and new threads and met a lot of cool people down there that I'm keeping in touch with. And my God, I just feel so much better now.
Gregg: Good. Well, let's review more movies than ever before then. That would be-
Tim: Little bit bad news. You are right. I do have diabetes that they discovered that was the cause of my numbness and some urinary tract problems I was having.
Gregg: 'Kay.
Tim: And I am gonna be living with it. I've been checking out a new website called cureyourself.com and I found that there's a way to combat diabetes pretty simply. You use, I don't know if you're familiar with flax seeds, it's very high in helping the blood work properly. So I've been doing this, I've taken two big spoonfuls of flax seed every day. Just like that. *chews seeds* And uh-
Gregg: I don't think that's gonna help for diabetes.
Tim: If you overdose- 
Gregg: You probably need to get on insulin. If you overdose on flax seed, it actually reverses some of those side effects of diabetes. And I've already noticed that I feel 100% better. And it's supposed to be good for your skin. It's clearing everything up. Flax seeds are a wonder drug. Get as much of it in as you can. So.
Tim: *chews*
Tim: I'll finish chewing here...
Tim: *spits*
Tim: I'll eat the rest of that later.
Tim: But again, thanks to you, Gregg, for last week. I've got a chance to see it and he did a fine job.
Gregg: Thank you.
Tim: How did you enjoy the guest?
Gregg: He had some interesting opinions. He had some of his facts wrong. But a lot of these so-called academics aren't really film buffs. They don't understand cinema. And so he's not somebody I would have back on the show. He did the best that he could.
Tim: It's interesting we did a poll, and our guest last week Larry Turman ranked number one on the list of all time favorite guests of the show. So his number one guest On Cinema, at the Cinema history.
Gregg: Well, I mean, he was definitely an improvement over Dr. San and Ayaka and some of the other guests you've had on the show. Of course, that poll wouldn't have included the hosts, people like yourself or myself. And of course, we would rank higher than some of the weirdos that you bring on.
Tim: It's like, you were a temporary host. Now you're back to being a guest. So it's not that hard to understand. It's much like when the old days, you'd have the guest hosts on Johnny Carson show, they don't suddenly become the host.
Gregg: But if you're a president in the United States, you stay president.
Tim: Eh. yeah but that's fine, but that-
Gregg: They still say, oh, hello, president Ford. Hello. No one's going to address president Carter as hello, former president Carter.
Tim: But this is totally different than that. Alright? So...
Gregg: It's not so different. There's a protocol and when you earn a title, you keep that title and I got a lot of complaints about people-
Tim: Alright well let's talk about the movie-
Gregg: -about him. And a lot of people writing to me and saying don't have that guy. He doesn't know his movies.
Tim: Let's talk about our movies today. One movie today is Pompeii starring Emily Browning, Paz Vega, Kit Harrington, and my favorite actor, Kiefer Sutherland. A slave turned gladiator finds himself in a race against time to save his true love, who has been engaged to a corrupt Roman senator. As Mount Vesuvius erupts, he must fight to save her as Pompeii crumbles around him. This is about Pompeii, about volcanoes. And it is a Pompeii movie.
Gregg: And it's kind of a gladiator movie. If you ever saw the old Gladiator with Russell Crowe, he won an Oscar for that and that was a fine movie. This one's not quite up to the level of Gladiator, but it's damn close. I'd have to give it five bags of popcorn and throw in a couple baskets of dried
volcanic rock.
Tim: I see. Thank you for watching- Are we still going on? Okay. I give it five bags of popcorn and one soda and I like volcano movies. So this is a great-
Gregg: Mm-hm. Joe Versus the Volcano. If you've ever seen that one.
Tim: Joe Versus the Volcano, the volcano movie starring Tommy Lee Jones.
Gregg: I saw that. I saw Joe Versus the Volcano just a couple weeks ago as part of my 500 Movies in 500 Days. And uh-
Tim: Joe Versus the... And Joe Versus the Volcano.
Gregg: And I have a list that I actually had on the set last week when the "expert" was here and, to show him, he was very impressed with it, but I somehow left it here in the building and I need to know where that is because it's my only record of how many movies I've seen. And so-
Tim: Do we know where his list is? Okay. We'll find it.
Gregg: Okay, yeah. I know we will.
Tim: Alright well let's take a- 
Gregg: I just thought, if somebody knew...
Tim: Alright. Well, now let's have a, we'll do another Popcorn Classic from Gregg Harrington. Gregg Turkington, sorry. It says Kit Harrington here.
*Popcorn Classics music*
Gregg: My popcorn classic today is twofold. We're doing something different with the segment and we like to switch things up every now and then. We've got the movie itself, which in this case is The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, one of my all time favorite movies, and a perfect compliment to some popcorn. And Jolly Time is one of my favorites. I've got a microwave again now, that my dad was getting rid of.
Tim: I thought you were a Pop Secret guy.
Gregg: I like a lot of different pop corns. I prefer of course movie popcorn, but when you're watching a movie like The Hobbit, for once, the popcorn isn't the main attraction. It's really about the movie and the great characters in the movie. And so I recommend you get the movie. You can get it- well, it's not on VHS. I had to actually tape this because they just don't, I don't know why they don't make these anymore. So you get the movie, tape it off of HBO or borrow it from a friend or something. You can't borrow mine because I'm going to be watching it a lot. And then get the popcorn and really go to town. It's a fun night. It's something I recommend to do every night if you can.
Tim: I got The Hobbit on Blu-ray. It looks terrific. It's got all the special features and commentary from Peter Jackson.
Gregg: Usually if they make a movie, they cut out the scrap scenes, the scenes that nobody wants to see, the scenes that didn't work and they leave them on the cutting room floor. I'd rather leave them on the cutting room floor and watch the movie. It was the way it was intended to be seen and that's why I have it on video.
Tim: Did you ever get that Blu-ray working I got you, or...?
Gregg: Yeah, it works.
Tim: Okay. Alright. Thank you very much. Alright, thanks for watching.
*theme music*
Tim: I don't want you bringing in this homemade stuff because the MPAA frowns-
Gregg: It's not homemade. The movie was made in New Zealand at great expense, it was a very big budget.
Tim: No, I'm saying taping stuff off HBO the MPAA frowns on, so.
Gregg: Well, so if they don't put it on the video, I have no option.

Transcribed by oddreflection
